I remember making fun of my NYC based, fancy brother for going to Yoga. But, the more I’ve heard about it, the more I’ve wanted to try it. I’ve had back injuries throughout my life. I blew out 4 disks in my lumbar spine about 7 years ago (which included an annular tear on one of the disks), I popped in a vertebrae between my shoulders 6 months after that, pinching a nerve (that sucked). I had scoliosis as a kid and terrible nearsighted vision, too. The list goes on and on. But, what I’ve learned over the years is that the better shape I’m in, the better my back, body, and mind feels. So, let’s keep this vehicle of mine in good shape, right? Right.
Wikipedia’s definition of Bikram Yoga says it’s yoga done in a 105 degree room with 40% humidity. So, tonight I met the young Yoga protégé, Smokey LeDixon, at Bikram Yoga Boston in Boston’s Back Bay to lose my Yoga cherry (Smokey is Little C’s Uncle’s Ladyfriend).
I got to Copley Square in Boston early and made my way over to 561 Boylston St. and met Smokey LeDixon inside after being buzzed in.
I was instructed to fill out a form and the woman behind the desk asked if I’d ever done yoga before. I decided to lie.
Me: “Yep! Uh huh!.” (I’ve never done Yoga a day in my life! I just hate feeling like a rookie.)
Her: “Recently?”
Me: “Uh, nooo. A long time ago.”
Her: “Did you do it a lot?”
Me: “No.”
Why didn’t I just say I had NEVER done yoga before? Dammit. Whatever. So, this place had an intro offer of $20 for a 10 day unlimited pass. Sweet.
I changed into my gym shorts and Smokey and I went into the studio where the class would be. She asked if I was nervous and I said, “Hell, yes… I have no idea what I’m doing.”
The room was already hot. And it quickly filled up sardine style. Literally, 6 inches between my mat and the girl’s next to me. I surveyed the room. Mostly women. A few other guys… mostly skinny, nerdy dudes. A few big dudes, too. But none of the guys looked like they were “in shape”. I couldn’t look at the hot girl butts around me because that would be “creepy”, right? Basically, we were a bunch of strangers in a hot room in our underwear.
The instructor starts class by saying, “Well, we don’t have anyone BRAND NEW, so, let’s just get into it!”
Damn.
Class gets started and it gets hot fast. Really fast. I found out later that the room was actually 110 degrees. 90 minutes at 110 degrees. Damn. We go into a few little poses/stretches/whatever and I’m surprisingly doing pretty well… I’m handling everything and I’m fitting in! Weeee! But, I realize now that this was the warmup. I was already sweating profusely. Big sweat. Not armpit sweat… all over sweat.
45 minutes in and the heat is torturing me. I am not a quitter. I’m not… at least at anything physical. I can push through most walls. But the heat just pounded me. I couldn’t even enjoy the mass amount of yoga butt around me. My heart thrashed out of my chest. I was sweating so much it was filling my eyes and blurring my vision. I finally stood up and tried to walk to the door… I just needed some fucking air that wasn’t 110 degrees. But the instructor saw me.
Her: “Hey… are you okay?”
Me: “Yeah yeah, I’m good.” (All smiles and fakeness)
Her: “Okay, well don’t leave. Just sit n your mat and rest for a second.”
Me: “Oh yeah, Okay.”
Her: “Well that didn’t take too much convincing. Haha!”
Inside my body, I was so hot I thought I was going to pass out. I was dizzy… I had a hard time focusing my eyes… I was so hot I started laughing/giggling. But I rebounded. I powered on. I did poses where I was balancing on one foot with my arms and legs wrapped around each other (this took me a few attempts because crossing my legs kept squishing one of my balls). I did poses that literally made me feel like I was going to poop my pants. It was hard, but it was new to me and I liked it.
Me and Smokey.
By the 60 minute mark I had already sweat out all of my energy. My muscles weren’t hurting… I was just hot. My gym shorts felt like enormous basketball shorts… all hot and steamy and not what I should be wearing. My dad used to wear these little shorts that were so small his balls were always falling out of them… always. I needed shorts like that! Nice and airy shorts. All this sweat… in my eyes, everywhere… the 2 towels I had were long ago soaked through.
The last 30 minutes was brutal, and again it was the heat that killed me. I should have been in the Mojave desert in one of those hot tents where you take Peyote and trip out for a spiritual awakening. It was so hot, the girl next to me could have farted on me and I would have said “thanks for the cool breeze, I needed that.” I actually looked at the instructor and gave her the international sign for I quit (waving my hand in front of my neck), but she ignored me.
Once the class finally ended, I peeled myself off the floor, probably 7-8 pounds lighter after all the fluid I had lost, and Smokey and I went downstairs to change.
When you let your body get rid of everything it has. All your real energy gone. All your sweat gone. I’ve felt this on different levels… triathlons, swimming… long, hard road runs… and now Hot/Bikram Yoga… it gives you a really good sense of accomplishment. It makes you let go of all your bullshit… all your hangups… none of it matters anymore. I didn’t care about any of my regular stresses. All my negativity was gone. All my bullshit… gone. I felt… great/spent/worked/tired/dead/alive. It was a similar feeling once I’ve completed a triathlon… when my body is empty but my mind is on a high.
I do not recommend introducing yourself to yoga through Bikram/Hot Yoga like I did. It sucked. I failed at it. It’s hard. But it’s a great environment, the people seem awesome, and it’s definitely good for you. I wouldn’t use it as my sole form of exercise, but, I liked it a lot. It seems like a good thing to do on the regular in addition to some regular cardio and strength training. As horrible as I felt in that class and as bad as I wanted to walk out because I thought I was going to DIE… I’m really looking forward to going back.
Be Great,
M7
ok, so first of all, you did not fail at it. the only thing you are supposed to do in your first bikram class is stay in the room and watch what everyone is doing so you can learn the proper poses. so you actually SUCCEEDED. also, all out of energy? that doesn’t need to happen. you probably got dehydrated.
step it up mike.
Yikes, that sounded tough. Glad you got through it and found a new challenge.
corpse pose…when I did hot yoga for my quick stint, that’s the only thing that got my through it.
Funny thing is… with each hour that passes, the more I want to go back and do it again. WTF? I was miserable in there for the last half. But, damnit, I’m going back and I’m going to like it!
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Awesome … I laughed my a$$ off. I am a Bikram-ite and LOVE it.
Have you gone back??
It can be a life changer and it does get easier !!
You sent me a message about this post on Twitter. Thanks. I have been doing yoga since age 12 and I like Bikram’s hot yoga. Like Ella said there is no succeed and fail. You are doing it for your benefit. Say you are learning martial arts (how to fight). Do you think that only the people that have been going for years learn anything and the new people learn nothing?
No, the new people learn the most. So you are doing the yoga for your physical and mental well being and guess what? You got more of the above than the experts that have been doing it for years. Also trying new things for the first time is a breakthrough. It is not a competition and so no need to lie. You are not there for the people there but only for you.
My issue is that they only need to keep the heat up to 100 degrees according to Bikram (no maximum though). That is enough for people in America. In India sometimes it is so hot outside that the tar on the roads melts and your tires sink into it. I have read about people almost passing out since they were in the classes where the temperature was 115 degrees. That is too hot and a waste of energy.