LET’S GO.

So far you’ve heard what I DON’T like.  Muffin tops.  FUPAs.  Huge ass.  Lazy Slobs.  Dreamers with zero initiative.  Wasted time.  Wasted lives.  Eating like a pigeon (you don’t fly, that’s why you’re fat and the pigeon isn’t).  People afraid of eating the Shit Sandwich. Hungry Butts (that’s a pair of butt cheeks that chomp up underwear AND pants like it’s eating your britches… you’ll notice it now that you know what it is). Etc.  Some people might think, “Man, all this guy does is rip on people and put them down!”  Look, I’m not an enabler.  I’m here to fix shit.  That’s what I do.

During the day, I’m an Educator (believe it or not).  One of the things I teach people about is healthy eating and physical fitness.  Remember P.E. class?  They made you take P.E. (just like math) because it was something you were supposed to do for THE REST OF YOUR LIFE (just like math).  I show people the difference between food that is good for you and the garbage they normally eat.  I’ll do the same for you, all you have to do is email me.  Ask me questions.  Pick my brain.  Want me to fix your diet?  Ok, tell me what you currently eat and I’ll show you your alternatives.  I’ll answer anything you send me.  Seriously.  This is an open ended invitation.  If you’re ready I’m here to help you.  If you’re not ready to change your life, well… try not to get a handicap sticker because you’re a monster of fatness.  You should be required to park in the far corner of the parking lot, by law… bad habits and a lack of will power shouldn’t entitle you to a pass that allows you to be an ever lazier piece of shit.  But, I digress…  email me with your thoughts/questions/comments/concerns… anything.  Anyone can email me, regardless of size, shape, reason.  I will get back to you.  I promise.  Just do yourself a favor and peel your sticky buns off the couch (Ooh, look!  I think you’ve got a gummy worm stuck to your giant/pasty/white thigh).

In addition to the invitation to email me, it’s about time I put on a real, no bullshit, let’s get some results, you-will-succeed-or-else Boot Camp.  This won’t be a Boot Camp where you miss half the classes or pretend like you’re dying from donut withdrawals in order to skip some sets/reps.  I’d be happy to take your money for free, but I’d prefer it if I could have a chance to bust your ass.  Subscribe to M7 (there’s a link to subscribe to it on the right), I’ll be releasing details on the when/where/cost of the M7 Boot Camp.  Think you’re already in shape?  I doubt it.  If you can outrun/outlast me on day 1, you can take the class for 1/2 price.  If you challenge me and lose, you get to bring me coffee every morning.  Email me at M7Athletics@gmail.com with any fitness/bootcamp questions/comments/whatever… I’m happy to read/respond to emails so don’t be shy.  I’m based in Quincy, MA, so this will end up being held in the Boston area… keep that in mind.

Dan and I next to his NRG Mobile. Why am I shirtless? Oh yeah, because I don't have to worry about hiding my giant Dunkin' Donuts gut!!! And I'm shameless.

I saw Dan O’Rourke (owner of NRG Bar and all around excellent guy) today at the Bayside YMCA Triathlon… I’ll be racing in the Amica 19.7 Triathlon in Newport, RI for NRG.  Check out his stuff at http://www.nrg-bar.com.  Look at his products, 11 legit ingredients.  If you’re actually eating Snickers Bars because “You’re Hungry-Why Wait?”, well, someone is walking behind you right now thinking “Looks at his/her terrible case of hungry butt… it’s eating his/her pants!!!!”

I competed in the Bayside YMCA Triathlon this morning in Rhode Island… won my age group in the swim, need to speed up my bike leg, and my run was 6:42 avg mile pace, overall time was 1:08:13.  A flagger forget to tell me to turn left, so I missed a turn and lost 20 seconds on my bike leg (I yelled some curse words at him to make myself feel better and it worked!).  This was triathlon #3 in my self imposed quest to complete 4 sprint triathlons in less than 30 days (and deliver respectable times).  I trained for less than 2 months before my first Triathlon, no coaches, to training partners.  I just did it.  I do stuff.  Lots of people do stuff.  Except you.  You have a butt to feed.

What have YOU done this weekend?

Do Stuff,

M7

M7Athletics@gmail.com

“Give me your lazy, your soft… your sloppy asses yearning to breathe free!”